Tuesday, February 6, 2018

She's Gone

2.6.18
 I wanted to let you all know that today Lynn went to join Evie, Abby, Dixie, Suzi, Carli, Alli, and Chance in horse heaven. Across the Rainbow Bridge.
My heart is shattered right now, but as usual, I'll be alright. She was cast/down against a wall in her stall, and we tried & tried, but couldn't get her up. It was time and while my heart is broken, I know all the things that should be absorbed to justify this loss, but not right now.
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For my mare...
  ''Thank you for the thousands of miles you shared with me. Each step, closer to retirement, but each step was with me, nonetheless. You were the absolute best friend a human could ever have, and I thank you for that. I loved you with as much love a human could offer a horse, and you understood. I remember those times when I had to leave you in different places- to be bred, or at horse shows towards the end of your career, only to hear your calls to me to not forget you. HOW could I forget the most wonderful, happy, loving animal I ever had the pleasure of knowing? I'd count the days until you could come back home. I remember sitting with you at those last shows, missing many driving classes, because you didn't want me to leave you alone, and my not wanting you to be stressed about it.
I remember sitting with you during the last few days of your pregnancy because I wanted to be there when you had your daughter. Luckily, I was and got to witness Mariah come into the world. What a wonderful mama you were! Full of love and patience, yet, still came to say hello to me- and to show off your daughter one more time. You were so very proud of her. I remember sitting with you when your tummy hurt so badly during colic those few times. We got thru it, though- didn't we?

I remember just yesterday when you got angry at me because you were not allowed to be in the barn before dinner time, eating everyone else's horse feed. You got so mad, you even bucked and showed me that old flabby fanny, plus those hind feet. " You see? I am mad and I Could have kicked you, but I didn't" 
Yes, you did have a temper and it got either worse or better when I laughed at it. Sometimes, the more I laughed, you knew it made me think whatever you did was funny, so you did it again, just to hear me laughing. I remember you hating those big black nasty horseflies on your back- and how you'd bring them to me so I could swat them. At a GALLOP! You were a little scary then, you know.  You never hurt me- even when you were frantic for me to Get that Thing OFF.
I remember the times I would try to video you and wow, did you put on a big show. You threw those hind feet right over my head! I remember how'd you wait at the end of the pasture for me to lead all of the other horses in, and only then, when you had my full attention would you gallop up to me. Yes- Gallop- again, a little scary when a big giant 2000 pound horse comes at a gallop towards a puny human.  You used to stop right in front of me, dropping that beautiful face for your halter.
I remember us having the big fancy white carriage for weddings. You were so full of yourself at looking so wonderful, but you kept that ever wonderful Percheron mind together and didn't take a bad step each time. Do you remember when we were in Wilmington, Delaware in the rain? You were just a 3 year old and so inquisitive. Once again, even though I was shaking like mad in fear, praying you didn't get scared and get hurt, you came thru it all like the great mare you were. You even were having enough fun to lift your head up, looking at those city people on the bus beside you!  Oh, what a good time they had too.

 I remember the wedding where there had been a terrible house fire the night before... You had no idea what we were walking into while taking the bride and her dad to the church. Did you act like the average horse when we came down that slope into town? Towards the still smoking house, with fire trucks and police cars all over the single lane road... did you ever feel frightened of that man in orange flapping his bright orange flag? If you did, I didn't feel it. No- you walked up to him, carefully stepping over the water hoses, ignoring the noise, the gawking humans, and the helicopters flying overhead. We stopped and the man rubbed your face as you tried to eat his flag. Again, you were a champ for me.
Just don't ask you to go thru water though. I remember the times when my helper had to jump down from the carriage to "help" you step over drainage areas in roadways. You were scared you'd fall in! Once there was someone there to be supportive, you hopped right over and waited for them to get back into the carriage. Do you remember that trail drive at Fair Hill when we still lived in Maryland?  You JUMPED that 4' wide, inch deep stream! Me, Sara, and the cart all went flying!!  There was laughter on both sides of that little teeny stream that day, my sweet.  We made it through, didn't we? And you did Not get those hooves wet at all.
I remember when we first met... You were quite the ugly duckling back them. You weren't even 2 years old and in that awful butt-high growing spurt. Ears big enough to be half mule, short neck, and looking like there had been a few horses all glued together as nothing matched... but I fell in love with you right then. You didn't realize it but I did. All of the times we'd go to a show to come home with so many blue ribbons, and that world championship. You took me to the top, my dear heart, and I couldn't tell you how special it all was...somehow I knew you had done a good job.
 
Yes, we've had a grand life together. 
So many good memories that I will never forget.
When it was my turn to attempt to repay you for all of those fancy blue ribbons and miles of hard work, you graciously accepted the more than perfect care and tried so hard to understand that even though bending those painful, arthritic knees and hocks hurt so badly, you tried , and the farrier keep your hooves comfortable. You put up with me putting all kinds of things in your feed- and loved getting the almost pure alfalfa the past few years. Old teeth are not able to chew as well anymore and I knew that. All of those things were to help you feel better so you wouldn't get stuck laying down outside any longer. I knew you had become hard of hearing, so those whispers we did together had to get a little louder. And you'd get mad about that too- usually shoving me to show it.

I remember how poor Glenn would be battered by your show bit- and I could hear you snickering quietly about it. I remember when you first met Glenn. You didn't shove him away nor turn your rather wide behind to the stall door- no, you welcomed him. That was how I decided that he was the one for me.
( yes, he still jokes about it) He still is, Lynna... I love him as much as ever, possibly more each day.
Today, when we got to the barn only to find you down in your stall, you still tried to get up. You still trusted me to help all I could. Not once did I ever feel in danger because I was in a small space with 2000 pounds of ultimate power. Every time I'd go by, you'd nicker to me.  Lynna- we tried SO damned hard to help you, but this time we couldn't. I knew when you gave up and told me you were just so tired. It was a time I prayed would never come and I made the decision I knew I would have to make one day. I let you go... yes, my heart and mind are shattered right now, but never forget how I loved you all those years and will love you till the end of mine.
Goodbye, my wonderful, sweet Lynna- You are missed now and will be forever. I love you and will treasure you being in my life for so many years. Never again will there be another love like yours and I will cherish the memories we had.











We became World Champions one evening, Lynn and I...





Godspeed, my soul mate, my World Champion, my love. You were my special, spectacular horse- the best a human could ever, ever love. Even in your ancient years, you were still a World Champion to me and will be forever.
                                                                     4/8/1990- 2/6/2018

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