Being single?

12.15.21

  Well, it is Official!  I am legally divorced.  It's been long enough coming but finally, at long last, I'm single again.  Yes- I'm OLD too... How on earth does one DO this thing again??

  This is something I never thought I'd be saying again but here I am:  single. Do I like this feeling?  After a few days of living with it, I am Liking this Just Fine.

I'm my own boss once again, I can come and go as I please ( without fear of being questioned about where I'm going, who I'm going to talk to, and so many others-- Ugh) Happily, I haven't a problem living alone. There are some women who quite simply cannot. Having always been alright with it, there wasn't a problem this time.

 Sure, there were SO SO Many hangups I had to work through, face and put them aside. I had a lot of anger to face head-on too. All remnants of a marriage that really hadn't shouldn’t have happened. If I had been thinking clearly, there wouldn't have been one at all. We tried hard to get along but it just was not meant to be. Emotional and mental abuse was rampant and it seemed to be a competition of sorts. Who could be the most wicked and hurtful?

Would I, if I could, do it over again? No freaking way in hell. Many life lessons were learned by me. I can't speak for the ex-spouse.  I learned what I would never tolerate in my life again, and how to speak up more clearly. Those are a couple of things I come up with now- but believe me, there are many more lessons learned.

Do I like being divorced again? Not sure on that one. I do like being single though. Over the months, I have met some great men, but no one special. All fun, intelligent and enjoyable- but no, no one serious.

One day right before Thanksgiving, I was thinking of how it would be grand fun to know someone close by. One that I could easily call and say- 'how about a movie?'   With no strings attached...  I jumped into the dating scene with both feet. Decided to try that Match.com group. 

Holy moly! Men showed up like crazy!! Some were totally scammers, pretending to be looking for Ms, Right. HAHAHAAAA!   Been there, bozos. Many just got tossed in the proverbial garbage can. Then one or two sounded like real nice guys. We corresponded some and got along alright....but. No sparks. The phrase " hope we can be friends?"  became my motto.  

  Then out of the blue, a man showed up in my inbox - he was nice looking and had the most gorgeous brown eyes I'd seen in a long time. We chatted on the site when he wanted my phone # so we could chat that way. I thought - that'd be fine. We exchanged phone numbers and so it went. He joined the social media group so we could chat that way too.

 For the ladies here are the stats:  he's taller than I am (whew), younger than I am, German, and omg, that accent!! He is an engineer ( owns his own company) and from what I can tell from little we have talked about it- very talented in all the things that go into this. Let's seeee- what else. He had a wonderful relationship w/ his parents, has a daughter, divorced and we hit it off. The meeting is in the near future - and yes, I know all too well about being so very careful in this. 

 With this bit of excitement added in, life is getting better and better. It is so nice to have found ME again. A better version of the "me" that was around 20 years ago. I am looking forward to whatever the future brings me, Cleo, Simone and Briana. I think we're all happier now after the hell we went thru.

                                    Looking forward and walking forward!