Ghosts?!

10.7.22

How many believe in Ghosts? I know I sure do. Many people think that they are always scary and out to make people terrified. Well, there are many who don’t want that. There’s the wicked ghosts that follow some people and try to make life miserable or so incredibly frightening that people think they are going crazy. But some are “stuck” midway between the living world and the dead; some don’t realize that they have died. There might be visits from a ghost who didn’t get to say goodbye because they died an instant death. These have been my experiences…. 

My early memories of ghosts began when I was in my 20s. There could have been some earlier but I didn’t realize that I had been visited by a ghost.  I had met a guy so very long ago who became a first true love. Only he never knew… the attraction was there but nothing ever happened. We both went our ways ..I got married and he was moving from one gal to the next. Years later, I was working at a racing barn ( thoroughbred racehorses) in a nearby town and had volunteered for the morning coffee run. I was not looking my best,like many people who work in horse barns. After putting my order in, I sat down on one of the stools at the little counter to wait. I could hear miscellaneous bits of conversations but ignored them. 

All of a sudden I was grabbed from behind and spun around on my stool. It was the guy that I had adored many years before. Turns out that we were both single and that he had to head back to work. Later that week he called me and we got together for dinner. And so it went….

 One day in June I had just gotten home from work and my phone rang. There was no internet nor cellphones then. This was a real telephone that was hung on a wall in the kitchen. I could not take photos with it, and gosh, all it would do is deliver calls. Turns out that the caller was a dear friend who I had known in school. He and “ my guy “ were also friends. He was the bearer of bad news. There’d been an accident earlier in the morning and my guy had died. Sitting in complete shock, it hit me that around 2AM that morning I had gotten a phone call from him. He always called me “Krissi”and wanted to know if I could “ come out to play “ meaning that he wanted for me to meet at the bar where he was.Well I needed to be up at 5 AM for work and replied no , I had to work later on. We said our see ya laters, and I went back to sleep. 

That’s the thought that hit me like I had hit a wall. If I had gotten up at least to make sure he had gotten home safely, or had driven to get him and took him to my place….. what IFFFF….For  years later I have dealt with those “What ifsss” …

 The next week was a blur. I don’t remember much of it at all. A dear childhood friend has also been killed in a head on crash and down I went again. It was almost to much to handle. Viewings and funerals ,like I mentioned, it was stress overload. I held it together until I was waiting in line to give my condolences to my friend’s family and lost it. The tears would not stop and I couldn’t stop sobbing I’m grief. I survived though it didn’t feel like I would right then. 

Passing through the days in a glaze of sadness I realized I might survive this torture. One night about a week later, I was awoken by the sound of someone in my little house. I was upstairs in my loft with no way to get to a door for exit. So I grabbed a quilt, thinking that I would throw it down on the burglar , then dash through the door. That’s the only plan I could come up with in the middle of the night. 

   My little Finnish flag was knocked over from my fireplace mantle. I clearly heard footsteps from the kitchen and the living room. So I waited for a good moment and made my move. Over the loft that quilt went, down the ladder I went and I had the sliding door open when I noticed there was no one there. Glancing at the clock ( don’t know why) and saw it was 2: 10 AM . Almost the exact time that my love would have been driving home..A kitchen chair slid out and someone sat down. The cigarette ashtray moved over to the chair and I saw smoke coming from it. All of a sudden I knew. I relaxed and said “ why hello Charlie “ . It was almost like the whole little house was enveloped in a warm hug. I knew it was him. Not quite sure what to say, I stood there. A few seconds later, there was a noise behind me. I turned to see what the noise was and there was a flying squirrel!  In my house! It sat down on the coffee table and looked at me. Grabbing a kitchen towel, I figured that I would have to chase it so I could put it back outside. No…. It quietly waited for me to pick it up from the table. Outside we went…with me, sitting it down gently on the deck. Of course the little squirrel jumped to the nearest tree and was gone.

Still in a daze of big surprises, I stepped back inside. As I did, the smoke from the cigarette was snuffed out, the chair slid out, my front door opened and closed as though someone had gone. My little house was quiet again.. That’s when my tears started flowing.

I knew that I had been visited by a ghost that was saying goodbye to me … to make sure that I would be okay. I never actually saw a shape or form that let me know who it was, but I didn’t need to. Doing some research later on that day, I learned that spirits who needed to say goodbye would visit again the place they felt most welcomed and at ease. Every so often I would hear from him, starting with my Finnish flag flying off the mantle and the same warm hugs and I know that he’s still watching over me.