Regards, continued

 1..9.23

Regards #4

 

Regards must have been worn out with being nasty towards humans. For her, it was a full time job.She slept most of the afternoon, even snoring a bit. This was from my boss as he was the one doing the evening chores.

 I got busy turning the geldings out and bringing the broodmares in for the day. It would not be long until we would be changing the turnouts around. The broodmares would then be out during the daytime and inside during the nights as it was getting to be early Autumn. The geldings that were healing from whatever injury had happened to them during their time on the track enjoyed being outside.  Most likely, once they were sound as possible, plans would be made to find a new home for them to retire in.

Jellino was so happy with his new vocation, he would tell everyone about it. He’s such a giant puppy dog; Big and he can look fierce easily. I loved him and I don’t usually care much for geldings. Jellino was the first horse who would give me hugs in return in my life. One time I was feeling particularly bad and I was in Jellinos stall, in tears , cleaning up pooh and telling him about it... I turned around and wrapped my arms around his neck, sobbing into his mane. He curled his neck down and back, giving me a warm hug. So sweet and it helped a lot. Once again I was shown how intelligent horses are and how they truly are sensitive to other’s feelings. I was just in the beginning of allowing horses to come into my mind, to learn from them, and to enjoy them honoring me by letting me into the real world of the horse. I had learned how to block the constant noise from their chatter. It was around this time that I was really getting into talking with horses. I was in my middle 20s and learning to learn, just like the horses needed to do.  

  Finally, I was done with the morning chores and time to get busy getting to know Regards. I took the carrots that I brought for my favorite girls. Cliché was waiting for me. How do horses make carrots sound so good? I bit off a piece for me, too. Grabbing my brushes, I wandered around to Regard's stall. She had not been outside since she arrived and she desperately needed to move. Not to mention that gawd awful stall. Yuck!  

She met me at the stall front, expecting to get a carrot, but I didn’t give it to her right away. Instead, I slid the stall door open and took a huge deep breath of bravery. Stepping into the stall, those ears flattened in an instant. Her nostrils flared as she sucked in a breath of me. I got a serious flashback of pain and a complete feeling of hysteria.

“ why? Why? It hurts so much! I can’t get away, someone, HELP!” 

 I didn’t have any idea why I was thinking that when all of a sudden, I realized it was coming from the horse standing right in front of me. She was studying my face as the tears began. I slid my back down the wall until I was sitting. I was sobbing for the dear mare in front of me who had dealt with so much incredible pain and fear. I remember saying over and over again that I was sorry. She asked ‘For what?’

For what they did to you… I now understood what happened. Putting my brushes down, I thought it was not going to be a grooming sort of day at all. Regards looked away like horses do when they are thinking or deciding what to do next and then took a small step in my direction. I thought that sitting in horse manure on the ground was not a wise choice of place to be sitting with a known vicious horse. I stood up and didn’t move, all the while ready to leap for the door in an instant. She was studying me as though she had never seen me before. So, I turned around in a small circle.  That surprised her. She lifted her neck up , watching me closely. I explained that that way she could see that I didn’t have anything to hurt her with. 

Then, I stood still, waiting. It was up to her to make the first move. I would either be bitten by those humongous teeth or I might survive.  We stood there, looking at each other for what seemed to be like 2 days at least. Then she turned her head around as if she had a bit of stomach pain and thought some more. She looked back at me and took another step, then another and another. She dropped her head and sniffed my jeans, tee shirt, and hair. ( which by the end of the day, also smelled like horses.)  Ever so carefully I raised my hand to her forehead and touched her. Man, those ears flattened so fast! I dropped my arm. 

‘It’s okay, I’m not in a rush.’  That’s when I remembered the carrots I had. I slid one from my pocket and she must have known that movement because she put her ears forward, looking for her carrots. I moved soooo slowly with one in my hand (which was shaking at this point). She gently took it from me. Once again, tears flowed. 

Not sad tears this time, but tears of joy. 

'Regards' #1

 1.6.2023

Once upon a time…. Another Kristale…

I had a job at a small Thoroughbred farm close to Middletown, Delaware. The job covered everything that goes on within a small race training barn. I got there early and dished out breakfast for the horses, bringing the broodmares in for the day. It was early summer and the mornings were breathtaking that early. One mare and I used to stand outside and enjoy the sunrise. She was my favorite so she was just a little spoiled.

After all the ‘nightmares’ were in for the day, the farm owner would usually show up, coffee in hand. I’d get busy with stalls, dumping water buckets, and rinsing feed tubs. The first horse would be out on the track by 7:00 AM during those days… before the sun got too hot. And so it would go. Most times I was done by noon and could head home.

One morning, I was just a bit late. There was a fender bender and I had to wait for them to get off the road. Guess who was hustling? My favorite mare was even hurriedly brought in much to her dismay. I was walking fast up the shed row to get the geldings out, not really paying attention as that side of the barn was empty of horses.

There I was, all but jogging when I went past one of the end stalls and into the barn. All of a sudden it was like there was a big explosion from one of the stalls. A huge red explosion. Eyes were all but shining red, teeth bared, mouth wide open, ready to sink onto whatever body part of me was available. I was so startled, I hit the wall on the other side of the wall in shock.

“ holy crap! What the hell is going on?!” 

I stood there trying to catch my breath, trying to see what it was.

Circling inside the stall was a big chestnut mare. Her mane was tangled in witch's knots, her deep red coat showed a lack of care, and her eyes were sunken into her head from abuse, to say the very least. She stood there, ears completely flattened against her neck, glaring at me with all the hatred she could muster. I said good morning and went back to my normal routine. My normal horses!

I was still shaking inside when my boss came in. I asked him what Is the new horse in for??? He started laughing and said that he forgot to tell me about ‘Regards’ shipping in. He motioned me to sit down.

As the story goes, she had been a “big horse” in the world of Open Jumpers. Anything she was pointed at, she’d jump easily. She was the horse to beat back then. No one knew what happened to her as she kind of disappeared from the show world. One year, she appeared again, fit as a fiddle, and began winning again. Slowly but surely, she started refusing jumps. Back then, there was no internet to find things of this sort. One time, she slipped and almost went down.

That’s when she was purchased by a couple of ladies from New York State. According to what my boss had discovered, these two saw Regards as a money-maker. They’d hired what everyone called ‘the cowboy’… Regards jumped or she was spurred and beaten with a whip. She was broken mentally and just about physically. She tried to refuse her jumps but was beaten so, she tried to jump each one clear. By then, she was not being fed. ‘Don’t feed her till she decides to jump’ was the rule.

She lost weight and became a horse to be reckoned with. No one could handle her; she had become so vicious. That’s where my boss came into it all. Regards had attacked her “trainer “, breaking his arm. The story was that Regards had to go or they were going to shoot her in the far pasture and leave her for the coyotes to enjoy.

And that’s how she ended up in ‘my’ barn.

In my spare time or at the end of my day -every day, I would sit outside her stall, talking to her. Every time I made a loud noise, she’d attack the stall wall, trying to stop me or the loud noises. One day I had to leave on time because I had an appointment to make. Hurrying to her stall, I told her that I was going but here was her daily carrot treat. As I jogged down the shed row, I heard her whisper a soft nicker. Tears in my eyes and feeling happy, I got into my little car and drove away, promising that we would be great friends.

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Another…

 1/3/ 2023

More memories…. ☺

   “I thank you for the music

And your stories of the road

I thank you for the freedom

When it came my time to go --

    I thank you for the kindness

And the times when you got tough

And, papa, I don't think

 I said 'I love you near enough --

   The leader of the band is tired

And his eyes are growing old.

But his blood runs through

My instrument,

And his song is in my soul --

   My life has been a poor attempt

To imitate the man

I'm just a living legacy

To the leader of the band

I am the living legacy

To the leader of the band.”

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“And Papa, I don’t think I said ‘ I love you “near enough.”

** This song means so much more than being about Dan Fogelberg’s father. My dad, even though he never had much to say by the time I came along. He’d been shut down by my mom so often, I think he gave up. The lyrics of the last part make me get teary-eyed. I remember as I got past the snotty kid stage, my dad let me help paint with him.We used to like taking long walks through the woods... As we walked down our long lane, Dad pointed out some of the birds, the rabbit hiding under a bush, thinking he was hidden. He showed me how to scrape old paint from an old piece of furniture. He told me about helping his dad (my grandfather) who took him hunting geese or ducks out on “The Flats “.  His Irish ancestry gave me my absolute love for horses. Thanks, Dad.

 One time, after I had moved out, I stopped in to visit.We were sitting against a huge tree after they had moved into town…   We shared a bottle of wine. By that time, he knew that his heart would not continue to keep him alive, and had begun having a glass of wine or a beer every so often. He got very serious and looked at me. He said that I was the one person who could keep the legacy of the duck carvers alive. It was in my blood… all of the others were not going to want to, but he hoped that I would continue loving this area as he did and that when I heard the shotguns over the fields and rivers, I’d remember.

   Ohhh, the wonderful stories I got to hear. From the hard work and the arguments, he grew to know as normal, the drinking that went on almost daily.  

  That was when I was much older… when he died in California, I felt him leaving me. I remember sitting outside on some steps crying my heart out. 

  I still miss him and seeing him walking down the path from my parents' house to mine because he knew I was scared of the massive thunderstorms that happened every summer. 

‘Dad, I am still scared of those storms. Yeah, I know that it’s silly, but sometimes I wish we could sit once again talking as they move through. I miss you .

                                                  James R. Heverin Sr./ WW II 

 

Yet, More Memories

12.13.22

 A bedtime story for you…

Off to sleep for me…feeling a little down thinking about Christmas’ past. This year I will most likely be alone and it’s so different from all of the others.  Certainly not what I would choose…

   I remember the first time we were hired to deliver Santa with Lynna and our new carriage. That was so long ago… All the way from the town park along the river, and  through my home town. We drove right down Main Street to the Santa House. There he would exit the carriage and greet all of the little ones waiting for him. The town was decorated with lights and fresh greens. The stores had stayed open later than usual.  People calling “ Merry Christmas” or even “Happy Hanukkah”. It didn’t  matter, there was good cheer was all over.

    It took me back to a time when I was just a kid. Then there were multicolored lights stretched across the street. Now, there are white lights. Cramers’ department store (now an antiques store) had an upper area that had been almost solid windows filled with glorious toys. Bikes, sleds and more. It looked like a fairy land to a little girl who knew that Santa would never bring such wonderful gifts.  

   Driving our carriage through town on that very first night brought it all back again. So many wonderful memories and a few bad ones, but the good ones took over in my mind. All of a sudden I was transported back to when I was a little girl, looking up at that second floor all lit up with multicolored Christmas lights in awe. The blkes shimmering , the wagons in glimmering red and the sleds? Ohhhhh, the sleds 🛷. 

   One little girl in pony-tails would fall asleep, dreaming of a beautiful white horse pulling a big white carriage down Main Street,  and guess who was in it? ❤️

More Memories…

 12/4/22..

Ohmy gosh, three?

 Yes! Three!

I sometimes feel lonely for my past and it’s fun to remember good times in my life. 

I remember when I was trying to explain about how anyone can think about how it would be to think about something and the horse would oblige..Sometimes a horse will actually allow us to be in their world. The world of the The Horse is an amazing place to be allowed. I have been welcomed into many equine lives and I am still amazed at how welcoming they are once the ever missing trust is added. There was one time that I was giving a lesson using Lullaby Dixie. Dixie was the consummate show mare. When she hit “show mode” everyone knew she was coming. At home, I had her to the place where she was relaxed and happy. One of my adult students had asked about how I could do that… to merely “think “ a horse to stop or turn or even a trot. No physical signals but all thought and having the horse say “ ok, I will do that”. I have to say that sometimes I was amazed myself!

I explained how she was to do in order to be able to communicate with her horse. Non- verbally… She had a tough time communicating with Dixie,but I could see Dixie beginning to listen to her just a little bit. All my student was doing was asking Dixie to stop. Simple, right?  Not when you are attempting to Talk her into stopping, using only one’s mind.

 My student was getting frustrated and wanted to quit. She thought that she was adding more stress to Dixie, not to mention herself. We discussed it a little more and she decided to try once more. 

Around and around the ring they walked…..

My student trying to clear her mind of everything that she was bothered by,and to open her mind to hear her favorite mare’s thoughts. They must have done three times around the rings, and I sure could hear her thinking “ slooooowwwww,Dixie, slooooowwww”  Dixie was walking as slowly as a turtle might move. All of a sudden I “heard” stop, my love” . 

Dixie stopped and chewed on the bit a little, looking around at my student.  Waiting for the next thought from her rider. I looked up at my student.. she had tears in her eyes as she patted Dixie softly saying “ thank you, my wonderful friend “. We never smacked our horses when they were good, instead a soft rub or caress. Words weren’t needed but they happened anyway..

 The rider jumped down the long distance from the saddle as Dixie was pure Percheron. She hugged her around her big neck and Dixie hugged her back by bending her neck gently around her human . Absolute love… a person could feel it, if they were open enough.

To see something like that, well, it will made me a little teary eyed. Dixie got the treat she knew were in a sweatshirt pocket and then they both walked in to the barn. 

❤️❤️💙💙💜💜

New small Business!

 12/4/2022

 Guess who decided to begin her own small business ? Yep, meeee. I have always been art oriented…. Painting, sketches ,photography and needlework.  I also love to write too. ( haha imagine that!). I have been thinking about opening an online shop but never got around to it. I have now😁. 

 At first I thought about eBay, noooo. Then Etsy but  they also want one’s first child as payment so that was out, as I didn’t have any kids to offer. What I decided on was to create a page on Facebook. It’s called “Winter Witch Design”  and anyone can see it. I have actually sold a small piece. My most favorite one too… 

I am painting rocks and making horse shoe suncatchers. I have not done many but for a couple but I think they have turned out nicely.  The rocks so far, become what the shape tells me will work best. I am still learning… 

Also, I can create personal suncatchers .. with a horse shoe from a best friend who has moved on and the person can decide which colors I will use.   If I can find where I saved the photos I will share a couple. 

Have a wonderful upcoming week! ❤️❤️

Below are the two “wols” ( remember Winnie the Pooh? Owl  didn’t know how to spell Owl correctly, thus the “wol”)   The small one has been sold… my favorite. 😉

 The bigger “Wol” is still for sale… 

If you see something, get in touch with me . Winter Witch Designs

This is my first endeavor… it is a small pony sized shoe and I couldn’t find a decent place to get a good photo… stay tuned.

            This is going to be a tiger or ginger cat, but it’s going to get a lot more done yet.

 

Again, terrible photos but I hope you get the idea.

December 2022

 12/4/2022

Welcome, December! 

The Florida trip was a disaster. What I “ thought “ was going to be a chance to begin a small business changed from that to a big fat Nothing. The partnership I was told was to happen didn’t, nothing much happened with getting things ready to go , stopped. I was confronted with a grouchy person who acted like he didn’t even want me there. I tried to get along as best I could but after a while I didn’t try. Grouchy remarks got grouchy returns and I stopped trying to get his small trailer cleaned. It wasn’t worth the hassle or trouble. I got no thanks,no acknowledgement of it at all. I felt like I was heading back to where I had just gotten away from. The man is very unhealthy and becoming more so. While I was sick of the rude remarks, I did understand why. When one is worried silly about health, it sometimes makes one short tempered. Still is it okay to be rude and mean to another person?  I don’t think so…So I made plans for leaving. The auto train was my choice and Mr Grumpy at least paid for my ticket back  which was very nice of him. 

The trip to Florida was okay but I got to sit by a woman that was seriously into complaining. She told me that I might have to go sit somewhere else because She had asked for no one to sit in the seat beside her.  She grumbled almost the whole trip down. It got a little funny as she paraded about like it was her train. One time she was flouncing her way to the cafe car and ran into the porter. He in turn, told her to take her seat. I didn’t hear the whole conversation, but she was pretty much put in her place. I heard snickers from the front of the car all the way down to her seat… when the train arrived at the station, she jumped up,grabbed her bag and proceeded to get off the train. It wasn’t long till she was stopped, being told that she was to wait until the handicapped people exited.😉 Oh my, such a commotion! She finally got told by one of the passengers to just to sit down and be quiet. ( yayyy) 

The trip back was peaceful until it was night. I had the two coach seats to myself.  Things were super. I had been unceremoniously dropped off at the train station and had to wait till it was time to board.  Seat was found easily, and I read for a while . Like I mentioned, all was wonderful until it was time to go to sleep. Oh my lord! The guy across the aisle snored. He just rattled the windows loose! Needless to say I got very little sleep that night. Then I had a two hour drive through Washington DC to get back also. I was so tired when I finally got to where my bed was, I couldn’t keep my eyes opened.  A early night felt great.

 Sooooo, here I am, once again. Believe me, life isn’t fun right now, but I am hoping it begins to look up again. 

 I wish you all a wonderful holiday with whatever you celebrate

. Lot’s of love, family and cheer! 

Happy, Happy !!

 11/24/2022

A Thanksgiving story for you on this important day of being thankful for the people we love, those who are here and those who are unable to.

As many know, I gave riding lessons to adults and kids, for decades. One family had two kids taking lessons that year. It was destined to be a normal Thanksgiving weekend and I was looking forward to a few days off. Hahaha, so were my two bronze turkeys! Harry and Mary were their names. I raised them from little teeny babies and they were great friends with my chickens and horses. Harry used to strut about, tail feathers all plumed out doing his best to impress Mary, but she never showed any interest. He would coo at her, obviously saying sweet nothings in ‘Turkish.’ Nothing.

That was the year I had the most glorious “night before Thanksgiving' that I will never forget. But I’m getting ahead of myself. The Wednesday before the big weekend, I rode my favorite Appaloosa mare, Miki, bareback to get the mail. The boxes were all down at the end of the long driveway, so it was a nice ride. A beautiful day and my favorite time of the year on the best little horse I had ever owned. Perfect.

We got to the mailbox and I stepped Miki sideways to get the mail from the box. She was such a pro in everything she did. I reached into the box and grabbed the pile of mail. Being the last day for mail that week, there was a pile of it. I stuffed it under my arm, swung my little mare around, and headed home.

When I got home, I began sorting through the mail: A few checks from clients, a few Thanksgiving cards, and some junk mail. I sat down at the kitchen table and began opening the card envelopes.

There was one big envelope that got my attention. It was addressed to Harry at WoodFinn Farm.

???????

The envelope was obviously handmade…Was it from a student? I got many wonderful things from them and this could be a holiday card from one.

Opening that card that day so long ago, I still remember it clearly. It had to be unfolded and the words were printed in crayon. As I read it, I realized that it was a thanksgiving card…. But for my Turkeys?

As I read the card I started laughing:

“Dear Harry,

We would love to have you for dinner so you are invited to our house tomorrow. Don’t bother dressing as we’ll supply that. We hope you can make it!

To the other people at WoodFinn Farm, we wish them a happy Thanksgiving. “

There was a big drawing of a turkey like Harry would look and then one of a cooked turkey on a big table. At the bottom were the signatures of the whole family.

The whole card made me laugh and again thankful for people who cared about me.

*******************************************************

May you all have a Wonderful Day!

Florida?

 11.21.2022

So, once again, life has changed for me. Guess who is in Florida? Yeah- me.  I know you're asking " what the heck?" Turns out that a friend I've known for a couple of years asked me to come down as he thought of going into business together ... making cool things to sell at various festivals, and the like. He was/ is remodeling an older motorhome and I understood that it was for traveling about, seeing the country, etc. I have always wanted to do just that so I thought about it and said yeah, let's do it. I no longer have any animals but my kitty and my sister said she'd take care of her.

Here I am in Florida. Land of heat and humidity. Not to mention bugs I had never seen before, alligators everywhere water is and snakes and more. Did I mention alligators? Never being one to simply dismiss things I don't know about; it could be a fun time to explore the deep south. 

 Okay... I have seen enough that I know it's not where I will be settling down. Don't get me wrong- it's a lovely state and there are many things to do when it comes to horses. WEC is down here, and many top-notch horse farms as well...  in the winter months, the weather is decent and according to some who have been here for a while, it gets downright cold. ( nottttt) It's just that I prefer the four seasons and the summers here are unbearable. So, no thanks.

I have planned a small store on Facebook... "Winter Wytch Designs"- and have one (yep, just one now) item listed! Turns out that I couldn't find many of my craft things when I left and they remained in Maryland. Having to buy just about everything new again, it's taken me a bit to get going. I hope others like my designs. 😀 

 That's about it for now.  There's an odd feeling/ energy on this farm that I don't like. It also could be me injecting my feelings into it all, but it's still there in the background.  An odd feeling though, even so. it's almost as though there's an undercurrent of negativity around.  

Below are a couple of photos I snapped here.

                                                    This is a "Gopher Tortoise". 

They are very special in Florida and protected. If there's a burrow made by a tortoise, then anything like improvement is out of the question

Lo and behold, there are what we kids used to call 'Monkey Vines'. 

We would swing on them and have a great time.

Goodbye Mr. Tortoise.. safe travels.

have a wonderful day...

Another Ghost Tale

10/16/22 

I hope you have enjoyed my stories…they’re all true 😉  These are little ones that were experienced by me over the years.

I don’t like thunderstorms. Ever since I was small,they scared me. It seems that when I was very very young, lightning struck our house.Now I don’t remember anything but the leftover fear of lightning. There’s been times when I wanted to hide with my dogs. 

My dad knew this and he would tease me about it. I am not going to say wonderful things about him as if he was a perfect father because he wasn’t. As I grew up, he and I spent more time together. He loved deer hunting and one time I was “allowed” to go along. Not that I was into killing because I never have been. However, I Do enjoy the results. Instead of a rifle, I took my little Brownie camera. We were walking down an old logging trail, when my dad suddenly stopped. He was looking to his right and I peeked around him to see what had stopped him. In a small clearing stood a gorgeous 8-point buck. My dad whispered “ do not move”… he  slowly lifted his rifle up, and took aim. I was closer than I wanted to be as gunfire is LOUD. I stood as still as a statue and waited. I heard him pull the trigger, then I heard a click. Of course the buck leaps sideways and into the bushes he went. My dad smacked his rifle and fired again, but it was too late. Me, not sure being into killing, had my eyes squished shut tight. When I heard the click, my dad started cussing.( we later nicknamed him Cussing’ Jim) . Ohhhh he cussed a blue streak. The deer was in Elkton before it slowed down, I’m sure.

But, I digress… My husband and I lived a short distance from my parents so it was just a short walk for a visit. Every time a big storm was heading up the Chesapeake Bay, my dad (retired at that point) would invite me to come have a cup of coffee or some such excuse so I didn’t have to be alone.Or he would stop in for a visit until the storm was gone.

After he had died, I missed him a lot. We had become pretty good friends towards the end of his life.

One miserable, hot afternoon, shortly after his death, I was sitting in my little kitchen hearing the thunder rolling in the distance. I was not going to be scared…after all, I was an adult and shouldn’t be scared of lightning. The clouds were beginning to make the sky darker as they always do in a storm. I figured I had better close my windows. The last one was the big double window in the kitchen. I leaned out to wind them shut and I saw my dad walking down the little path to the house. I was surprised to see him as you can well imagine. As I watched him go by, he faded away. My dad was making sure that I was not going to be scared of the lightning. If I close my eyes, I can still see him, in his white tee shirt and  khaki pants .

More Ghosts

 I have been seeing/hearing from ghosts since I was a kid. I never saw them as scary or trying to scare me. I always understood that they were on a journey to say goodbye to people they had loved, or get unfinished things accomplished. Some ,l discovered, didn’t even know that they were dead. Of course, I didn’t know how to help, so I would grin and shrug my shoulders. 

I was married when I saw my first ghost and knew it. One day I was at the barn finishing up my morning chores. My husband and I had built the barn and house together ( with a lot of help.)  It was a small row barn with 4 stalls. We used one for storage and it had a nice tack room ; just enough for my Appaloosa horses. I loved it.One morning , as I was finishing the last stall, I heard my Dalmation barking. I stepped outside to see what was going on but didn’t see anything. All of a sudden, a man stepped into view. He smiled and waved to me. Not to be rude, I asked if I could help him. He said that he had been hunting in the State Forest and managed to get all turned around. It was rifle season after all … hunters continuously got lost .I asked him about his gun and had told me that he had put it down as he didn’t want to scare me. Ooooookaaaay. He asked me if I could direct him towards a certain road because that’s where he had parked his pickup.He had on a red plaid flannel shirt and jeans. The weather had not gotten to cold yet and he sure looked like he’d been walking awhile. Happy to see him gone, I told him what he had to head to find his pickup again. He thanked me and started walking down the driveway to get his gun. When he picked it up, he waved and yelled ‘thanks again.’ 

I went back to my chores and didn’t think much about the whole thing. Lost hunters wandered on to our farm being lost a lot anymore. People from out of the area got lost in the State Forest all the time, so it wasn’t unusual.

Later on in the evening when we were done with dinner, I settled down to read the local newspaper. It was getting cold finally…I remember thinking that I would have to get winter blankets for the horses from the big storage trunk.I decided to check the front page news and see what had happened that week. I was shocked to read an article about a hunter who had deer hunting and had accidentally killed himself. He apparently had been in a deer stand when he was getting down, he’d dropped his rifle. It hit the ground in such a way that it must’ve fired. These were mere suppositions because he’d been hunting alone. It was so terrible and I felt awful for his family. 

All of a sudden, I gasped! There was a photo of the same man who had been at my barn this morning.. Yet the news article reported that he had died the night before , when another hunter found him.

. Go figure…..

Ghosts?!

10.7.22

How many believe in Ghosts? I know I sure do. Many people think that they are always scary and out to make people terrified. Well, there are many who don’t want that. There’s the wicked ghosts that follow some people and try to make life miserable or so incredibly frightening that people think they are going crazy. But some are “stuck” midway between the living world and the dead; some don’t realize that they have died. There might be visits from a ghost who didn’t get to say goodbye because they died an instant death. These have been my experiences…. 

My early memories of ghosts began when I was in my 20s. There could have been some earlier but I didn’t realize that I had been visited by a ghost.  I had met a guy so very long ago who became a first true love. Only he never knew… the attraction was there but nothing ever happened. We both went our ways ..I got married and he was moving from one gal to the next. Years later, I was working at a racing barn ( thoroughbred racehorses) in a nearby town and had volunteered for the morning coffee run. I was not looking my best,like many people who work in horse barns. After putting my order in, I sat down on one of the stools at the little counter to wait. I could hear miscellaneous bits of conversations but ignored them. 

All of a sudden I was grabbed from behind and spun around on my stool. It was the guy that I had adored many years before. Turns out that we were both single and that he had to head back to work. Later that week he called me and we got together for dinner. And so it went….

 One day in June I had just gotten home from work and my phone rang. There was no internet nor cellphones then. This was a real telephone that was hung on a wall in the kitchen. I could not take photos with it, and gosh, all it would do is deliver calls. Turns out that the caller was a dear friend who I had known in school. He and “ my guy “ were also friends. He was the bearer of bad news. There’d been an accident earlier in the morning and my guy had died. Sitting in complete shock, it hit me that around 2AM that morning I had gotten a phone call from him. He always called me “Krissi”and wanted to know if I could “ come out to play “ meaning that he wanted for me to meet at the bar where he was.Well I needed to be up at 5 AM for work and replied no , I had to work later on. We said our see ya laters, and I went back to sleep. 

That’s the thought that hit me like I had hit a wall. If I had gotten up at least to make sure he had gotten home safely, or had driven to get him and took him to my place….. what IFFFF….For  years later I have dealt with those “What ifsss” …

 The next week was a blur. I don’t remember much of it at all. A dear childhood friend has also been killed in a head on crash and down I went again. It was almost to much to handle. Viewings and funerals ,like I mentioned, it was stress overload. I held it together until I was waiting in line to give my condolences to my friend’s family and lost it. The tears would not stop and I couldn’t stop sobbing I’m grief. I survived though it didn’t feel like I would right then. 

Passing through the days in a glaze of sadness I realized I might survive this torture. One night about a week later, I was awoken by the sound of someone in my little house. I was upstairs in my loft with no way to get to a door for exit. So I grabbed a quilt, thinking that I would throw it down on the burglar , then dash through the door. That’s the only plan I could come up with in the middle of the night. 

   My little Finnish flag was knocked over from my fireplace mantle. I clearly heard footsteps from the kitchen and the living room. So I waited for a good moment and made my move. Over the loft that quilt went, down the ladder I went and I had the sliding door open when I noticed there was no one there. Glancing at the clock ( don’t know why) and saw it was 2: 10 AM . Almost the exact time that my love would have been driving home..A kitchen chair slid out and someone sat down. The cigarette ashtray moved over to the chair and I saw smoke coming from it. All of a sudden I knew. I relaxed and said “ why hello Charlie “ . It was almost like the whole little house was enveloped in a warm hug. I knew it was him. Not quite sure what to say, I stood there. A few seconds later, there was a noise behind me. I turned to see what the noise was and there was a flying squirrel!  In my house! It sat down on the coffee table and looked at me. Grabbing a kitchen towel, I figured that I would have to chase it so I could put it back outside. No…. It quietly waited for me to pick it up from the table. Outside we went…with me, sitting it down gently on the deck. Of course the little squirrel jumped to the nearest tree and was gone.

Still in a daze of big surprises, I stepped back inside. As I did, the smoke from the cigarette was snuffed out, the chair slid out, my front door opened and closed as though someone had gone. My little house was quiet again.. That’s when my tears started flowing.

I knew that I had been visited by a ghost that was saying goodbye to me … to make sure that I would be okay. I never actually saw a shape or form that let me know who it was, but I didn’t need to. Doing some research later on that day, I learned that spirits who needed to say goodbye would visit again the place they felt most welcomed and at ease. Every so often I would hear from him, starting with my Finnish flag flying off the mantle and the same warm hugs and I know that he’s still watching over me. 

AWOL

10/7/2022

Yes, that would be me. Massive apologies for not keeping up with my life online. No excuses but I had to deal with things that I never thought I would have to. I don’t know how much I have allowed to be public but I had an awful time being divorced. The divorce itself was not bad, but prior to that, life was pretty terrible. I won’t go into it much but the end result is that I got the proverbial short end of the stick. Should I have fought for more of what should have been my share of the sale of the farm? I should have, I realize that now. Back then, there was no way I was mentally able to keep moving forward, let alone have enough money and the mental capacity for a big court fight. 

He took everything materially that was a huge part of me and my life and it almost crushed me. My horse business was slowly torn down, the horses that I adored eventually became old and left me, one by one. I was told that I was not to have any more horses. That when the farm was sold, “We” were going to buy a small house very close to where he grew up and my sweet Briana would be boarded somewhere. Very involved story short, I decided that I was not going to be going along with that idea and moved out. I learned much later how I had been dealing with a narcissist.

 I had to sell Briana this past Spring as I couldn’t afford to care for her the way she (and all animals) deserved to be cared for. She was sold to a pal of mine and as far as I know, Briana is fine. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and think I have to get busy and get the AM chores done. But… I have no chores to do. 

During all this time, I was also scammed. When it first started, I knew Nothing about things like this. Sure, I knew about phone scams, but men who said all the right things and made others believe their sweet words? I had No Idea. I was a horsewoman and not aware of sickos who lied and basically stole money from others. It turns out that there were women who did the same thing. To write this now is embarrassing for me. I am a smart person… not some silly woman who falls in love with someone she never met. But I did. It was the worst time in my life that I ever had to deal with and I guess I was a perfect person to steal from. Since all of this happened, I have learned that a lot of women have been scammed. It isn’t that they are little old ladies but to have one’s emotions played by a professional thief who knows what to say and do to entice these women to send money to them. 

So, the past few months and years have been incredibly difficult to get through. Did I make wise choices?  No, I didn’t. I made some amazingly stupid ones. I have been facing bad situations and have dealt with them. I have healed and I am stronger than ever. My trust level is non-existent now and it’s going to be a long time before I blindly trust anyone, especially men. In no way do I blame all men, but I sure pay attention to what they say now.  Will I ever trust enough to give my heart? Maybe so, but it’ll be a while.

So! That’s what I have been doing for the past so many months and years. I am back… maybe not the exact same woman I was before all of this began. I am wiser and more willing to call it “bullshit” when I hear it. I’m a stronger, smarter woman than I ever was before.

I promise you that I won’t be so long in between posts. Some might even be funny! 

💜💙❤️💜💙❤️💜💙❤️💜💙❤️💜🤗🤗💜❤️💙💜❤️💜❤️💙🤭🫣💜💙

The Saga of the House that Moved

 3.10.22

 A very long time ago, I was married to a guy who wanted to have his own business. The trouble was that we were poor as church mice; you know, patches on our already patched jeans? 

 I already had my horse business and it was supporting itself alright but he thought that if he could get better at horse equipment and tack repair, he could make a go of it. We talked it out and decided to give it a try. He started learning more all the time and also saving whatever extra money we had... and one day a couple of months later he came home all but bursting with his news

He had found a building for his Tack Shop!!!  There was an old house there also and the deal was that he had to tear the old house down, remove it all, and the little crookedy building sitting there too, was his for free.  Umm, that was a problem right away. How would he be able to do it all? I was busy with my horses and couldn't be of much help...  No to worry, he'd come up with something, I was told.

Turns out he DID. He found some guys that were carpenters and out of work until Spring -many of them! These were all pals of his and he knew they were good workers, knowing their trade. They worked all through late winter on tearing that old house down, saving the old timbers, boards, and anything they could. Those all were hauled to our place and piled carefully so as not to warp or rot. We ended up with quite a big salvage pile of wood.

I stopped one afternoon to take a look and thought, 

"Oh myyyyy, that dear little building - a strong wind would knock it down"  

It was listing to the left, pieces of the roof gone and the old tarpaper was all but gone, exposing the boards. Broken window panes and a hole in the floor where there'd been a small fire at one time.  Sighing to myself, I drove home. 

 Finally, it was moving day. They didn't realize they needed permits or more to move an old building. They didn't realize there were electric and phone lines stretching across some of the roads. They didn't realize how rickety that little building was.  It seems they didn't realize many things when it came to moving a 100-year-old building...

Everyone was eager to get this show on the road. A fellow owned a big flatbed trailer with a truck to pull it. This wasn't a pick-up and a trailer- but one of those rigs that roll along on highways. Jussssst a little taller than expected. It was finally loaded and I remember one of them saying " I hope it doesn't die on the way"...   

The truck, trailer, and little old house pulled onto a major thoroughfare, and off they went. Pieces of shingles flew off, leaving a tell-tale sign of travel.  When they got off the main road, they intelligently traveled the back roads. This took a little more time but was worth it. Slower, less wind, and less traffic. Yes- this might work.

I had a late start and just followed the trail of ancient shingles along the roads traveled. It was a little funny as I felt like the story of Hansel and Gretel - following the shingle path to find my way. By the time I got home, there it was. Barely intact but still standing up. Not only was the big rig there and all of the other vehicles, but two police cars also. 

Hmmmm...The little ancient building was slid down the ramps and onto the footing that had already been installed a week before. It turns out that the building would not sit level for anything. That was when the leftover electric poles were brought over. Each was measured carefully and then cut. It turns out that my husband thought ahead concerning ending up with a crookedy base. He'd put buckets in the concrete so that when the concrete was set up, there was room to add poles if needed. 'Pretty smart!', I thought. So- back up the ramps the building was pushed...  I know those guys slept well that night as it wasn't a teeny little place - more like 12'x18' or so. It was big enough though.  After much grunting and shoving it stayed where it had been put. 

Things were all measured another time to be sure those large poles (now looking like stumps) were placed in those holes and then the little building was slid on top of them I was Amazed. 

It looked quite proud to be sitting on a safe dry foundation. If I scrunched my eyes almost closed, I swore the little building smiled. More fresh concrete was mixed and stones were found and eventually? That little building was all but perfectly level and sturdy. I was sure I heard it give a big sigh upon settling in.

All this time, the police stayed. On the way to the building's new home, it took out a few wires that were across the back roads, and then there was that 'no permit' problem. Luckily the two policemen were local and not as stuffy as some could be. The husband got a fine for not having a moving permit and no signal flag on the trailer.  As far as those wires went- being an electrician, he knew some guys and they got them all replaced asap. Everyone shook hands, and the police turned down the beers that'd been offered and drove away.

We had hotdogs cooked on the little grill we had, and of course, the beers flowed easily. I had my usual water and oh those grilled hot dogs tasted so good! 

 The next day I found the husband standing outside in the yard... just looking at his 'new to him' Tack Shop. Oh, he had a lot of plans on how to make it look like an old-fashioned shop- with a potbelly stove, and more. We worked on that little building for many months, saved money, ordered some pieces of tack that we thought people would enjoy owning, and a wonderful old wooden workbench for the repairs of bridles, and halters to create new leather pieces for customers who wanted something specially made for them.

 Finally, it was all ready and some horse-oriented friends stopped by to see what it became and I think they all liked it a lot. It was still there when I sold that little place, and I wonder if it still is now?  Maybe a drive to check it out is in order...

This is something similar to how it turned out but a little different. I will have to find a true photo of it and if I can, I'll add it here. Imagine the back section gone and that's pretty much how it looked. All of the leftover shingles were gone and a new roof had been installed and the front porch was on the original too/

(Credits to pioneer village at shingle creek, Fla. James C photo)