3.24.18 /Facing Reality.

"I am the voice in the wind and the pouring rain

I am the voice of your hunger and pain

I am the voice that always is calling you

I am the voice, I will remain
I am the voice in the fields when the summer's gone
The dance of the leaves when the autumn winds blow
Ne'er do I sleep throughout all the cold winter long
I am the force that in springtime will grow"

''Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal''.

The above quote is from an old Irish headstone... and yes, I still miss her. The grief comes in waves by now. I will be fine for a little while, and wham!  The fact that I'll never ever see her again hits. That never again, will I hear those soft nickers for me only. Never to laugh at some of those antics belonging to only my mare. So many memories, good and very few bad. It all seems as though life has done a total change, but it's the same. I go thru the motions: smile, laugh, but it is an act. Inside I am still falling apart from losing a best friend of 26 years. Longer than anyone in my life, but family. She and I went thru divorces, incredible sadness, pain, and yet so many wonderful things. Moving from one place to another, from one pasture to another... from one barn to another. Much the same yet totally different. We always had each other to share those good times and those awful ones. She knew all my secrets, and I knew hers, although there weren't many.

 I know one day the memories will be able to be talked about, just not right now. The tears of sadness are just behind these eyes, waiting for a reason to fall. People tell me that she's "up there'' watching over me and that it will " be alright". It seems like yesterday, although over a month since I made that awful choice, and it is as fresh as that afternoon. It's worse than losing my mom & dad so long ago, I think, sometimes.

So now what? 

I have been thinking that a memory stone would be nice... Just need to decide on kind/ size, etc... but not yet. When it rains or snows, I still want to cover her grave to keep her warm and dry. Yep- that's what horsewomen think when they have loved, truly loved a horse. We are not insane- merely overcome by the grief that losing a precious animal sends. Of course, we are good at hiding it from all others but those close to us. But on the inside? Broken... 

Even though one knows this sort of loss IS coming, I don't think we are ever prepared. Who would have thought a one-ton horse would get stuck in a stall so terribly that there was simply no way to help her get up again?  I did. In fact, I thought that she would get down one time, not being able to rise again and it would be up to me.  It was up to me to choose life or death for a friend for so very many years.

So- to all those who have loved and lost, remember I've been one of the thousands for a very long time. However, This loss has all but done me in, as I knew it would.

''I'll be fine, I've got myself, I'll heal in time
I cry but I'll make it through
And I know that the sun will shine again
Though I think of you now and then...

I'll be fine, I've got myself, I'll heal in time
And even though our story's at its end
I will think of you now and then...''

Welcome Spring

3.21.18

HA- we are in the midst of a big snow storm! I was SO ready for Spring weather too.  Sick of winter, sick of mud and now? Sick of snow- which in turn will become mud. The ground had just gotten solid enough to drive Briana. Not any moreeeeeeeeeee.

Not much has been happening here, thanks to cold weather, then 70 degree days, and then rain.
 (which in turn brings more mud-did I mention that?)  Slowly I have been cleaning tack, wiping down harnesses, and thinking of Springtime.

Briana n' I got two whole days of a mud-free ring, and now? It's covered in snow... I do believe we'll go driving in it tomorrow if it ever stops snowing.

Since Lynn got put down, life has been hard to handle. Tears all the time out of nowhere, I expect to see her in the pasture or around the barn. But I have to continuously tell myself that I'll not ever see her again. That is the most difficult part.  A dear friend of mine created a picture of her that I'll cherish forever. It's gorgeous and has really caught Lynn's expression. I feel as though a huge piece of me was buried with my wonderful horse. We were together for 26 yrs and other than family, that's the longest I have been around anyone. We went thru some awful times and then some wonderful times together. It will be hard to let it all go but I'm working on it.

The hens are doing great! I'm scared to let them stay out all day without someone being around as it is chicken stealing time for Fox. They have new families now and need to feed them as well as themselves. Now, I don't begrudge them hunting, but not at my farm. There's plenty of other critters to have as snacks and meals- so leave my girls Alone. They're beginning to leave me 2-3 eggs daily and it's great.

 There's a fun item that happens every evening by now. When my husband gets ready to take his bath/ shower each evening, it seems the biggest house cat likes to also. My hubby starts the shower running, and once he's almost ready to get in, Dexter jumps in! He'll stand there for a few seconds, and is gone.  Hahahaaaaaaaa- he doesn't want to be Soaked, but just damp. He might do that 3-4 times during a shower. Now, the younger one wants to try it too but he's not willing to get wet. Never in my life have I been around a cat such as this. I've known them to like playing in the water, but never IN a running shower.     Sheeesh.

Hope your first day of Spring has gone better than mine!

Come on Spring!

2.25.18

    This morning was for grooming filthy horses x 3. Luckily, I can just about take Sunday mornings off, but today, I couldn't stand knowing my horses were crud-balls.

    So- trudging up the hill to the barn, I thought I'd begin from the 'top' and work down. Many thank yous to Julia Suter who puts up w/ me as I deal with losing Lynn. It's been a bad week for that, and I am still feeling lost. She was my 'go-to' horse, and now she's gone. No more sitting in her stall, discussing things, no more wonderful hugs from her, no more anything. I am a big void at this point. There are few tears left and they'll still flow a little. Now it feels as though a big piece of my heart is missing, but I know it is my mind that's never going to be able to fill the 'hole' in again.
The last time this happened was when I'd lost Dixie. Carlene filled that giant void so well. She Needed me to get to the barn and help her get better. Now? Nothing but a dear little black pony and my sweet BoJangles. They're really doing fine- thank the lords. < sigh> I guess I am alone in dealing with it all. There are so many other horse folks who've lost horses so very near and dear to their hearts/ minds as I have in the not so distant past. But to lose the closest friend I've had - wow. The nasty rainy weather has created mud like I've not dealt with in a while- at least not for so long. This doesn't help much either. I think having something that needs special care would help, but do I really want to get into that again? I don't know... this is just so hard.

     BoJangles finally dried off enough for me to scrape his mud off today. Yesterday, he was wet and sticky. Talk about a giant guy who adores attention! Whew. He constantly reminds me of why I adore the Percheron breed so much. All of the draft breeds. Even the little stinker, Briana. She is a constant in being a goofball. Bo got brushed and is shedding winter coat like it's going out of style. It's rewarding to groom this time of the year. The mud comes off w/ the hair- yay! It wasn't long til I found the huge white dude under it all. His eye ( injury from a good while ago) was weepy and sore, so I cleaned it up and added some medicine. He's so kind about this. I'd already clipped his head up some and he looks oh so handsome for one so old. :)
     My little squirrely girly was next. I swear she hasn't a patient bone in her body. I had the A-5 clippers and hadn't even started them but she was acting like she'd not EVER seen them before. Now- I know she has as she was clipped last Fall. Ha- short memory in this short horse. So I began all over again, and could tell the instant she realized what was going on. Duh. It wasn't long before her head and neck relaxed and she was enjoying it all. Hahaha- I like clipping ponies! No 5-gallon buckets needed to reach their bridle paths. She looked so much prettier and loved getting a handful of hay for being a good girl. Curried the mud from her legs n' tummy and combed out her tail, mane n' forelock. Such a pretty pony! Til tomorrow I guess- unless a miracle happens and someone dries out this farm.
     It was Eli's turn. He's SO scared of people. He bullies Briana like mad but people? Ha- noooooooooooo way. My mission for this Spring is to get him dragging tires, etc. There's not a cart small enough to hitch but I have been looking at the pony-sized shafts on the one. I wonder......................... Got out the little clippers and Oh My! Eli didn't see them as a really good idea at all; little Appy eyes bugging out, head bobbing as he always thinks someone is going to twitch his little nose. Again- so so scared. Patience won out, and he saw very fast that it was just a haircut and not a leg being removed after all. I adore his fuzzy, frizzy forelock! Omgosh, it almost stands up straight, it's so fuzzy. He lost his mohawk bridle path and some of those long jaw hairs so he looks more presentable. Eli had rolled yesterday and hadn't gotten TOOOO horrid but still- he got a good brushing. Tonight, hooves will need to be cleaned- my back hurt too much for bending over this AM. 
    Julia groomed her two geldings too after I was done. Everyone is looking much nicer- but for one mare. Her Mom needs to spend time getting her neatened up some. I'd run out of energy- hahaaa. 
I sure wish the wet soggy ground would stop. The fields look like a series of deep holes left by hooves- big n' small. Since we had two whole days of sunshine, they are greening up ever so slightly. It is depressing to have to wallow about in ankle deep muck and to deal with mud and standing water. I imagine the ground is so saturated, there's no where for it to soak into. 
Again- I am impatiently waiting for Spring!

Thursday :(

2.8.18

  This morning, it was like I didn't quite know what to do. I didn't want to go to the barn, but I HAD to. There were the other horses to care for... so we got up there, fed breakfast, dumped water buckets, refilled, and I doled out hay for everyone. I think they *could* have gone out but I didn't want to risk it. I let BoJangles wander in the aisle for a while, and he has yet to call for Lynna. He kept an eye on what was going on Tuesday, so I think he understands his bestie is gone. Those two were great friends. At first, it was Lynna who was boss, then as she became so arthritic, Bo took over being boss. She'd give way but did it begrudgingly - she knew she couldn't move fast due to the pain.

   Bo did stand at her empty stall, looking, but nothing more. He walked to me constantly and looked for hugs- which he got a lot of. Briana was just starving!! No one else has said a thing as they all have been around long enough to understand death. I was most concerned for Bo and he seems to be handling it alright.

   I stood in snow-covered hoof prints from Lynn and tried to ground myself. I couldn't... oh well- too much grief in the way I guess.

   Not so many tears today, but I can feel them right behind my eyes waiting to be shed. Simply incredible sadness and now the questions are starting. Could we have figured out a way to have gotten her up? SOMEhow ??? She was trying to do it but was to close to the stall wall. (it is called being 'cast') As it is, she pushed three boards loose w/ pushing on them. I thought if BoJangles might be able to slide her away to the middle of the stall so she could get enough room, but he couldn't do it. I had a collar on him w/ ropes attached- no draft harness anymore. Then I didn't want to pull on her tooooo hard for fear of hurting her.

   When our vet arrived, she tried a couple of different ideas but they didn't work either. There simply wasn't a way to get her up other than somehow sliding her out thru the stall door. For what we had, the leverage was totally wrong. Each time Lynn was careful of my stepping over her head or neck.

Becky mentioned that she didn't start out like she was- against the wall. She figured Lynn had laid down and possibly rolled over. Lynn has NEVER gotten cast before- but I think Becky was right. Maybe a colic? Maybe some sort of pain that enticed Lynna to roll against that wall?

   After she was gone, and the fellow w/ the big backhoe arrived, he had the right machine and power to just slide her body out into the aisleway. Glenn said it was so simple. The bucket could move sideways. Had we had tried it when she was alive, no doubt the whole move would have damaged her terribly.

And then, she gave up trying. That's when I heard her tell me she was just tired and wanted to rest for a bit. She was sweating from the stress and the fear of not being able to use her legs to 'escape' ( fight or flight instinct) and from struggling; she was worn out. Every single time I asked her to try, she would- every time. Our vet agreed that it was time... and she went to get a tranquilizer to let her relax. After Lynna was pretty much sleeping, she gave her the final two shots. My mare left me alone in 2-3 minutes. I knew when she was gone, but our vet had to double check her big heart to be sure it had stopped. It was a little bit later the backhoe arrived... and within a short time, my mare was gone.

   My best friend in my whole life on 4 legs, my soul mate. Almost 27 years of being together...We saw it all, from peaceful grassy pastures, almost chest high snow,  hot air balloons, to trains flashing by, firecrackers, helium balloons on strollers, cars, buses, semi trucks, helicopters, jets doing flyovers, burning houses, and just about anything one can think of that would scare a horse. Just about the only thing she didn't like was water. Puddles, storm drains, the runoff in the ring, anything. She loved baths though- so go figure. I remember when we had the posts in the ring here put into the ground. No fencing, just the posts. It rained like mad the next day and when it was done, I turned Lynn n' Bo out in that pasture. Oh, My Word! You'd have thought she was going to sink to China with how she trotted up the hill. ' Ewwwwww- I am NOT stepping in those Puddles!!!!' Bo would wallow in them- we called him "Scuba Bo". But not Lynn- oh no. I never saw such terrific high action that day with her trying her best to not get her hooves or legs wet. I remember just laughing at her which in turn embarrassed her a little, but nope- just don't ask my girl to walk in the water. She'd do or go Anywhere, but not water.

  So now she's gone- I miss her antics and her love for a very long time. She took me to the top in the show ring, and thru her, I became a world champion driver and trainer. I still can't really believe that night was real but I know it was... all thanks to a tall, goofy looking, big-eared, long-legged yearling filly, that no one but our Suzi could tolerate, I fell in love with so long ago. now the tears come.

This was last March- shedding like mad. I knew she was looking "old" then but it took her 27 years to look her aged.

Wednesday without Lynna

While I couldn't deal with being in the barn this morning, I Had to go up this evening. I was alright until I turned the corner and there was Lynn's grave. We decided to give her a place of 'honor'- so she is buried up near the hen's house where she liked to stand sometimes. It was warm in winter sunshine and not in the line of wind. One day when things are thawed out, I want to rake over the top and make it look a little neater...

Got into the tack room, greeted the new-ish kitty girls and braced myself to head into the barn. Lynn's stall was the first- right across from the tack room door. All of the horses heard me and whinnied in hunger. Apparently, they hadn't been fed in oh, a year or more according to them. I put their dinner in their feed tubs and lost it as I walked back to the tack room door. The marks from her leaning against the back wall, the pooh stains on the wood, and some leftover winter hair from when she was dragged out of her stall yesterday. The scuff marks her hooves left were still there also.

If any of you get tired of reading of this incredible sadness, just scroll on by. Writing is one of the ways I deal with grief- so it helps me. This grief is strong also. It's worse than when we found Abby down in the fence, worse than when I had to choose between a terrible life for Evie ( to be on meds the rest of her life, dealing w/ the pain of chronic laminitis,etc) or to let her go. Yep- losing my soulmate on 4 legs is slowly doing me in. Of course, I don't say anything here as I know Glenn is handling things as well as he can... and it won't be long till we can talk about Lynna's goofy quirks and how intelligent she was.

So, I leaned on her stall, crying like some ninny over a horse who'd been in my life while many horrible things happened and many good things as well. < sigh> Tomorrow I will be up there alone after Glenn is done helping w/ turnouts. And more tears will happen, I imagine. 

Plodding along, hoping for an early Springtime- that's me. ; /

She's Gone

2.6.18

 I wanted to let you all know that today Lynn went to join Evie, Abby, Dixie, Suzi, Carli, Alli, and Chance in Horse Heaven. Across the Rainbow Bridge.

My heart is shattered right now, but as usual, I'll be alright. She was cast/down against a wall in her stall, and we tried & tried, but couldn't get her up. It was time and while my heart is broken, I know all the things that should be absorbed to justify this loss, but not right now.

***********************************************************************************************

For my mare...

  ''Thank you for the thousands of miles you shared with me. Each step was closer to retirement, but each step was with me, nonetheless. You were the absolute best friend a human could ever have, and I thank you for that. I loved you with as much love a human could offer a horse, and you understood. I remember those times when I had to leave you in different places- to be bred, or at horse shows towards the end of your career, only to hear your calls to me to not forget you. How could I forget the most wonderful, happy, loving animal I ever had the pleasure of knowing? I'd count the days until you could come back home. I remember sitting with you at those last shows, missing many driving classes, because you didn't want me to leave you alone, and I didn't want you to be stressed about it.

I remember sitting with you during the last few days of your pregnancy because I wanted to be there when you had your daughter. Luckily, I was and got to witness Mariah come into the world. What a wonderful mama you were! Full of love and patience, yet, still came to say hello to me- and to show off your daughter one more time. You were so very proud of her. I remember sitting with you when your tummy hurt so badly during colic those few times. We got through it, though- didn't we?

I remember just yesterday when you got angry at me because you were not allowed to be in the barn before dinner time, eating everyone else's horse feed. You got so mad, you even bucked and showed me that old flabby fanny, plus those hind feet. " You see? I am mad and I Could have kicked you, but I didn't" 
Yes, you did have a temper and it got either worse or better when I laughed at it. Sometimes, the more I laughed, you knew it made me think whatever you did was funny, so you did it again, just to hear me laughing. I remember you hating those big black nasty horseflies on your back- and how you'd bring them to me so I could swat them. At a GALLOP! You were a little scary then, you know.  You never hurt me- even when you were frantic for me to get that thing OFF.

I remember the times I would try to video you and wow, did you put on a big show. You threw those hind feet right over my head! I remember how you waited at the end of the pasture for me to lead all of the other horses in, and only then, when you had my full attention would you gallop up to me. Yes- Gallop- again, a little scary when a big giant 2000-pound horse comes at a gallop toward a puny human. You used to stop right in front of me, dropping that beautiful face for your halter.

I remember us having the big fancy white carriage for weddings. You were so full of yourself at looking so wonderful, but you kept that ever-wonderful Percheron mind together and didn't take a bad step each time. Do you remember when we were in Wilmington, Delaware in the rain? You were just a 3-year-old and so inquisitive. Once again, even though I was shaking like mad in fear, praying you didn't get scared and get hurt, you came through it all like the great mare you were. You even were having enough fun to lift your head up, looking at those city people on the bus beside you!  Oh, what a good time they had too.

 I remember the wedding where there had been a terrible house fire the night before... You had no idea what we were walking into while taking the bride and her dad to the church. Did you act like the average horse when we came down that slope into town? Towards the still smoking house, with fire trucks and police cars all over the single-lane road... did you ever feel frightened of that man in orange flapping his bright orange flag? If you did, I didn't feel it. No- you walked up to him, carefully stepping over the water hoses, ignoring the noise, the gawking humans, and the helicopters flying overhead. We stopped and the man rubbed your face as you tried to eat his flag. Again, you were a champ for me.

Just don't ask you to go through water though. I remember the times when my helper had to jump down from the carriage to "help" you step over drainage areas in roadways. You were scared you'd fall in! Once there was someone there to be supportive, you hopped right over and waited for them to get back into the carriage. Do you remember that trail drive at Fair Hill when we still lived in Maryland?  You JUMPED that 4' wide, inch-deep stream! Me, Sara, and the cart all went flying!!  There was laughter on both sides of that little teeny stream that day, my sweet.  We made it through, didn't we? And you did not get those hooves wet at all.

I remember when we first met... You were quite the ugly duckling back them. You weren't even 2 years old and in that awful butt-high growing spurt. Ears big enough to be half mule, short neck, and looking like there had been a few horses all glued together as nothing matched... but I fell in love with you right then. You didn't realize it but I did. All of the times we'd go to a show to come home with so many blue ribbons, and that world championship. You took me to the top, my dear heart, and I couldn't tell you how special it all was...somehow I knew you had done a good job.
 

Yes, we've had a grand life together. 

So many good memories that I will never forget.

When it was my turn to attempt to repay you for all of those fancy blue ribbons and miles of hard work, you graciously accepted the more than perfect care and tried so hard to understand that even though bending those painful, arthritic knees and hocks hurt so badly, you tried, and the farrier keep your hooves comfortable. You put up with me putting all kinds of things in your feed- and loved getting the almost pure alfalfa the past few years. Old teeth are not able to chew as well anymore and I knew that. All of those things were to help you feel better so you wouldn't get stuck lying down outside any longer. I knew you had become hard of hearing, so those whispers we did together had to get a little louder. And you'd get mad about that too- usually shoving me to show it.

I remember how poor Glenn would be battered by your show bit- and I could hear you snickering quietly about it. I remember when you first met Glenn. You didn't shove him away nor turn your rather wide behind to the stall door- no, you welcomed him. That was how I decided that he was the one for me.
( yes, he still jokes about it) He still is, Lynna... I love him as much as ever, possibly more each day.

Today, when we got to the barn only to find you down in your stall, you still tried to get up. You still trusted me to help all I could. Not once did I ever feel in danger because I was in a small space with 2000 pounds of ultimate power. Every time I'd go by, you'd nicker to me. Lynna- we tried SO damned hard to help you, but this time we couldn't. I knew when you gave up and told me you were just so tired. It was a time I prayed would never come and I made the decision I knew I would have to make one day. I let you go... yes, my heart and mind are shattered right now, but never forget how I loved you all those years and will love you till the end of mine.

Goodbye, my wonderful, sweet Lynna- You are missed now and will be forever. I love you and will treasure you being in my life for so many years. Never again will there be another love like yours and I will cherish the memories we had.

We became World Champions one evening, Lynn and I...

Godspeed, my soul mate, my World Champion, my love. You were my special, spectacular horse-the best a human could ever, ever love. Even in your ancient years, you were still a World Champion to me and will be forever.
                                                                     4/8/1990- 2/6/2018

It's Snowingggggggg

2/4/18
Superbowl Day

We brought the horses in a couple of hours early today, due to a wet snowfall.(which is Still falling)

Everyone was SO ready to come inside! I need to mention how wonderful it is to have a retired husband now- he's helpful as can be while getting his side job taken care of too. Thanks, Glenn Bowman.

Since I now CAN walk easily, I do most of it while bringing horses in or turning out. (pending upon who stops by- and Kris yacks) So the routine is Glenn walks to the barn, pulls heated bucket plugs, swings the aisle gate to let Lynn come into her stall, and slides her door shut.

I lead Briana up because she is forever more interested in what's going on in the rest of the barn Or she forgets where she lives- and Eli comes up alone. HE knows where his stall is, but Briana? Nope- tooo nosy. So, out of the gate we go- Eli has decided that he has time to explore some before cantering along the barn side to the aisle way. Meanwhile, my little Diva is bouncing sideways, telling me that she really Does know how to get to her stall. They were both snowy n' wet but warm as toast, with no complaints of being outside during the snow.

Once those two Littles were in their stalls, I walk up the hill to get Rusty, who is standing there, with one front leg up as high as he can lift it in eagerness to come in also. Sometimes I really do love this guy- he's careful, Way to smart and is pretty much a gentleman to work around. ( Hahahaaa- unless there are white geese in "his" pasture!! Then it becomes melt-down time) Glenn is there waiting for us w/ Dixies' halter and the great exchange is done. Rusty, for a halter...

I walk out to the boys and as usual, they're Both anxious to come in too. Whoever said horses don't like their stalls is full of 'it'. Mine all love being in their stalls. Dixie waits patiently at her gate while I open the other one and the two geldings make a dash for the barn. Even BoJangles!

Dixie is learning how to maneuver the gate properly at long last. She has to stand w/ her head toward the opening of it and not on the other end. She'll get bopped if she stands there and the gate swings open... By the time I get the gate opened, she's switched directions and is oh so easy to slip her halter on. :) We're the last two to come inside, and while SHE thinks it's not fair and has to voice her frustration, she's a good girl. I very seldom have any trouble w/ my horses and the boarders here. Understanding idiocies have always been easy for me, and eventually, the horses that are new learn the routine.

This afternoon, however, and there's sometimes that certain horse who messes up the routine, it was Armbro. When I opened that pasture gate to let them go inside, Army chose to be Mr. Social. Instead of trotting down the aisle in the barn to his stall, he chose to visit. "Hey, Rusty! Hi Eli! Howdy, Bo; I thought you were behind me!?" Glenn is standing there, telling Army to go into His stall, but Army took a little more time visiting w/ the other boyz.

I got Dixie all the way in her stall, halter off before the "Wanderer" chose to go get his hay. < lol > He's such a character and I love his personality...

So we are all "in" for the day/ night and life is good. Made some cookies to munch on while watching the Superbowl too.All in all, a wonderful Sunday.

The begining of the End

2/1/18

The other day I was catching up on bill paying and saw a pending charge for the farm's website. So many bills happen when one runs their own farm- there are plenty of folks who work full time as well as run their farm. I have been there a few times when I lived in Maryland; just needed to take a break from it all. The last time for burnout was before I moved to PA. That one was almost 5 years long.

Slowly I accepted riders to the farm and found teaching was fun again. A few folks called me to ask about bringing their horses for training, and I accepted a couple of them. But then life took a downhill slide, I left that farm and moved to Pa., leaving my friends behind to begin a 'new' life.

Four times, I've built a successful business and this one here in Pennsyltucky is the last one. Slowly I've been selling off vehicles/equipment as my Percherons are both fully retired by now. Who needs to keep leather items around and not use them? Leather needs care and use. Then some saddles, bridles, and more. Each time a draft piece was sold and left, I shed some tears... the end of another era for me. Non-horse folks wouldn't understand but then again, maybe so.There have been so many 'endings' for me in the past 20 years but the big one is still in the future. When we finally retire into a much smaller place.

Anyhow- back to the beginning of all this: I thought about the website and how much fun I'd had keeping up with it. Then I considered the costs... Pretty much no contest, so I deleted it.  Gone, in an instant!

Happily saving money now, and not having some Very weird people calling to board here or to take lessons will be good, once I get used to it.  There have Been some Very odd people- hahahaaaa, I should write about them one day. It may turn into a novel though as there have been a lot. The horses were fine, but oh wow, their people- scary. Luckily I was blessed with many more good horse folks than the weird ones. THAT would be a much more fun tale to write. ;)  So perhaps we'll have to see how it goes.

In the meantime, I'm enjoying the lack of pressure to keep building the business into making more money, etc, etc... I am content where I am in life now and hope those here at the barn will remain for quite a few years to come.

Not to mention, I am Sick to death of cold, ice.frozen hoof prints, and subsequent Mud.  Come on Springtime!!!

God Bless the Old Horses

12.30.17

As we get closer to 2018,after reading a great post concerning old cows and how their owners watch over them so much during the winter, I got thinking that I have been doing the same thing with my old horses.

There are quite a few Teenagers here, but only two ancients left. Those are my two Percheron horses. At 25 & 27, they are considered OLD. Draft horses usually don't live as long as the little ones do. While a well cared for riding horse might get into it's 30s, a draft horse of that same age usually has more health issues than that horse and won't live as long. Again, this depends on how badly or how well a horse was treated during his long life. From being ridden into the proverbial ground, to lack of veterinarian care and more lack of good care, a horse won't live as long or be healthy as long as a horse who was carefully conditioned, having great internal care as well as mental care. That horse may well live into it's 30's.

At any rate, I look at these old horses of mine daily. It may seem as though I am just talking to them,or petting them, but I'm not just doing that. Checking to see for arthritic joints swelling, fluid in places there shouldn't be, creaks and groans from skeletal structures, their demeanor and more. They are checked walking across from pasture to stalls, listening to sound foot falls or lame ones. Heads' down in pain or a happy drafter coming in for dinner. All of these things are taken into consideration for my ancients.

They get extra fattening feeds, top quality hay that they Can chew easily, lots of fresh water, salt and a very carefully chosen diet just for them. Deworming right on schedule and proper hoof care too. The same with keeping a check on those teeth.
 When they get groomed, it is a gentle one due to old body parts being sore. I think these two enjoy a good vacuuming over a hard curry... it gets them cleaner and leaves them happier too.

The old horses have paid their dues in life. They have earned retirement just as many humans have. Used to be I'd think well they're paying for their keep.  Now ?  I owe Them. I owe them a warm comfy stall and lots of hay to keep their old digestive systems working properly. Each time these two are moving around outside, I check on them, making sure there's no limping or simply being "off''some how or another.

Wintertime is hard on old horses. They no longer can get out of the way from other horses wanting to steal their hay. My mare has gotten down 3-4 times and hasn't been able to get up on her own. So, she lays there, waiting for someone to come help her. And we do with no complaints... I understand how it feels to rely on others for help, and have them disappear. My mare will never be allowed to have those feelings of abandonment.

They patiently (haha- or not) wait to come inside in the evenings, no gallops now, but perhaps a trot towards the barn.Mostly a crisp walk...  I still get happy whispers of delight when I come into the barn and warm brown eyes looking directly at my face.

The most terrible part in keeping old horses is that their time on this earth is almost done. That to me, when they let me know, will just break my heart. When it's time, I'll be the one to call our vet for one last visit for them and my time to say a final goodbye.

My mare and I have been friends since she was 15 months old- we have been through hard times, heartbreaking times and a lot of wonderful times also. Yet I wonder- is it good to keep a horse til 'the end'? So many people sell their older horses ; they don't have to deal with a useless animal that needs special foods, or the heartache of saying goodbye- but is it good for the horse? I say no... if a person owns a horse ( or dog, or cat, even a hamster)- then try to be the best partner to them possible- til their last day.
But to keep an old horse until it is ready to leave this earth? 
I say wholeheartedly, YES.

Farm Stuff

12.28.17
In a few days, we will begin a New year. Not being one to make lists of resolutions, I do have one for 2018. I want to work w/ Briana enough for a debut at a "first" driving show for her. Stay tuned.

Alrighty then!! I am tired of living on a frozen tundra. TOOO damn cold for my toes now.  No more complaining - I'm done now. ;)

This morning water buckets in the barn finally got some ice on their tops so it was time to exchange them for the heated buckets. That took a good while but once it was done, I felt cozy knowing everyone would come into nice warm water to drink. This creates yet more extra work for us as we have to dump the heated bucket's leftover waters into another bucket, and carry THAT outside to dump.

Then a gal stopped by and by the time we were done talking, it was close to 11 AM. LONG past time for me to have stalls to clean out still. Didn't get into the house til around one or so, but things are set up more for this bitter cold crap called winter. Mixed up some beet pulp to soak for tonight's feed, mixed up dinner feed then tomorrow's feed, fed the kitties (Simone liked being outside for about 5 minutes, then dashed back inside!) cleaned their pooh up. By then, I couldn't feel my right foot, my feet were so cold.

The hens got their heated water dish plugged in and filled, and a big dish of feed. I brought Bess n' Gracie  ( my bantam sized Cochin hen & Silky hen) over so they could be w/ the bigger hens. I placed a little barrier for Grace to be behind until the big girls remembered who she was but she was so frantic, I ended up leaving an opening for her to get out with... Hope they don't beat her up- I think she & Bess are my favorite hens.     Below is Bess with her newly hatched family

                               This is "Grace Slick" AKA- Gracie.  One of my "hippie chicks" :)

I am tired out! It is so much harder when it's so cold out. Granted it's hard work but when it is warmer, it seems to be a little easier.

Winter brings more worry for me- How are my ancient horses doing? Are all of the horses getting outside enough? Who is cold? How to keep them all drinking plenty of water during this cold time? Sheeeesh- then the hens and' the barn kitties worry me but not quite so much. So- yep, running a farm is hard work, come wintertime.

                                The good thing? I can feel my toes again!

Brrrrrrrr

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas !

This morning, I had some great company in the barn! A long time pal brought his gelding down to our farm so he and his farrier could meet "half" way. His horse needed a reset or new shoes, and our farm was luckily about midway for them both.

Glenn helped in the early AM, and went back to the house.... I was left w/ the VERY poopy stalls to get cleaned . Already tired from the holiday stuff, I sure as heck didn't want to do double duty on stalls. Pretty much each one got stripped but for the ponies. New bedding added ( which of course was partially frozen- thank goodness for pitch forks!) buckets refilled, feed set up and hay in for the evening. We have yet to have ice in the barn except for the chickens' water. That only had a little covering on it. Tomorrow, I want to combine chickens into one stall and give them a heated water dish.

This was during the time that my pal's gelding was being cared for. Holy moly what a shock from last week's warmth ! Even though our barn stays toasty - well as much as it can in 17 degree temps- it still was freakin COLD out. Sheeesh / lol. I couldn't feel my right foot at all.

After cleaning the equivalent of 14 stalls and re-bedding them, needless to say, this ah hem- "older" body was poohed out ! Still is but at least I can feel those toes now :D

Happily, it was pretty much done by around 12:30 and the barn is back to normal again. I really think everyone inside it partied for two nights BIG time. Gawd, what a mess.....even with just a few horses compared to what I did before I moved up here. Lol- I now once again, realize that I am getting to old for all this.

Christmas Tales.

12.19/17

I'm sure you ALL have some stories you tell around this time of the year. Some funny, some maddening and some flat out sad...

I have some of all kinds, beginning from when I was a little girl, right up to last Christmas and dealing with a new kitten in the house who thought it was grand fun chasing those shiny balls that fell on the floor by "accident".

There was a good story from a long time ago, that I remember around this time of the year. It all had to do with my neighbors. As some of you know, we lived in the country- more like the woods- had patches on our patches and wore 'home made' clothes way before they were in style. Our closest neighbors were about 1/2 mile away thru the woods. There were 5 boys ( !!) in that family and we settled into being friends with age appropriate neighbors. We had a blast playing ourselves silly in the woods, exploring, climbing trees, playing '' war" or cowboys. Whew, when we all headed home for dinner at our individual houses, we were a bunch of worn out kids. Unlike the kids of today, our parents couldn't afford fancy items nor would they have even purchased them, had they been available. So, poor little kids that we all were, we grew up without cell phones, video games, computers, and the like. We were very lucky if one of us had a Brownie camera to use! Most times, we would paint or draw pictures which was using more imagination than any 5 kids of today.

Back to Christmas, though. It was a normal thing for us to search the month before Christmas to pick out the most wonderful trees to be cut down and set up in our living rooms for decoration. There would be paper chains made from construction paper, painted pine cones- with glitter shaken on them so they'd sparkle, cranberry garland and the old Christmas balls that our parents let us use too. I can remember the first time anyone had electric lights on their tree! Oh what a wonderful thing- electric bulbs on wire.

So, the search was on- Which tree would be chosen for Christmas? I always liked the ones that were to tall but ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, beautiful.( As long as it was turned with it's "bald" side towards the wall or corner..) Carefully, we kids would walk around a few before choosing- making sure the particular tree was usable. No empty areas- check. No bald branches- check...  not to tall- Check.  It took us most of the month- after rifle season for deer was over.

Once all of us had found two perfect trees, the dad's were the ones to decide if they were good enough. Then they'd cut down "their" tree, and we all would help drag it to the correct houses.  That's pretty much where it all would end. We would wait til Christmas Eve to put our tree up,and then to decorate it. Our neighbors would put theirs up a couple of days in advance because life got so terribly hectic for their big family.

We had a big family too, but the extended family wasn't as huge, luckily. Ours was beautiful every year, I remember- of course, when one is just 6-7, anything with green pine needles was beautiful. We kids had to be in bed by 9 PM on Christmas Eve, so we left plenty of time for Santa to come and leave those presents!  It was so hard to get to sleep but finally we all did. One time I swore I heard Santa putting gifts under the tree- but my older brother (who was good at ruining things) told me it was probably a burglar stealing the presents.

Christmas morning, we had to stay in bed until our parents got up- sheer torture! Then, breakfast and finally it was Time !!!! My parents taught us how to be patient and enjoy everyone else's gifts by being able to open one gift at a time. One person had a gift handed to them and we all watched it get opened- 'oooing and ahhhhhhhhing' at it politely. Once the gift exchanging was all done, my little brothers would either play with their new toys, or go outside to play. I'd try to help my mom and older sister making Christmas Day dinner but got bored.

One afternoon a couple of days after Christmas, we tramped up the lane to visit our neighbors ( remember- the ones with 5 boys?). oddly enough, they couldn't go out and play that day. I didn't ask why and we tramped back to our house. The next day they came to visit... We couldn't stand it and had to ask why they'd gotten in trouble so much that they had to be inside all day long.

The story was that in putting their lovely Christmas tree up a few days earlier didn't really cause the problem. The problem came when the tree was in the living room where it was always quite warm. (there had been a gorgeous stone fireplace) After a few days of their tree being inside and warm, their mother was sitting on the sofa, knitting. All of a sudden, she jumped up, screaming "BUGS!!!!!".  The knitting flew one direction and she, the other. All of the boys came running down stairs wondering what the noise was all about. She began cussing in Finnish (we all knew when it was cussing and when it wasn't even if we didn't exactly understand the words)... Stomping about like a crazy woman, and cussing loudly. Everyone was staring at her as though she'd finally lost her mind when she stopped, hands on hips and said
" WHICH one of You Boys didn't check that tree !?!?!?!"
 They said to us, snickering- ' we didn't have a clue what she was talking about'.
 It turned out that there had been preying mantis eggs on their wonderful Christmas tree. The heat from the fireplace made the babies think it was springtime and time to hatch... which they did. ALL over the house.

And that's why our neighbors had to stay inside all day long. They were busy finding baby preying mantis'.

"Christmas Eve, bells will ring, as we gather in town to sing....''

Why so much rudeness ?

12/12/17
The past few years, I have been battered by really mean people. If I express an opinion (my own), I get ganged up on and destroyed by those who cannot take a disagreeing opinion of another. So they 'attack' like a group of pit bulls.
Haha- some days I'm like the Red Queen in the fairy tale "Alice in Wonderland" and run around screaming "OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!!" ;D  I don't in real time- just in my mind...

 Then there are those who get offended at the drop of a hat.  Everyyyyyything offends them! Unless one plays what I call the Kissy Face Game-(always say something totally sweet and dripping in what ever another person seems to want) one gets rudeness aimed at them.  I don't play well that way- it's to much work for me.

Sadly enough, I have simply backed out of a lot of this so called 'social media' as others don't seem to care or to take the time to understand what the other is trying to express.  Heaven forbid if one disagrees with something that another wrote/ typed!

So many also think that a simple statement is about Them. I mean, who died and made them that important that every single thing said is aimed at themselves. The way I see it is that if one wants to know if a remark is for them, then just ask. It's that simple. It is called communication. Frustratingly enough, there are many of another generation other than mine who don't seem to be able to communicate unless it is the typed word.

Ah well. I see people in restaurants- couples, families,etc- not talking. Oh no- they have their faces looking at a telephone of all things!  What ever happened to ( again) communication?  One evening, a young couple across from us spoke not one word to each other pretty much the whole time there. Nope- scrolling here n' there, looking at someone else's photos or what ever. Sad- just sad.  My horses can carry on better conversations than some humans I meet ; it's like that art is being lost.

 It's scary to me to watch this happening. People truly are becoming 'sheeple' and unless some of them learn about what is going on in the world- with out posting it on a social media page, where surely they will be blasted by others-  this country will be taken over by those who aren't playing games. 

Mind you, not ALL of those with cell phones and those on social media are like that. There are many many who are well adjusted,take it all in stride, and will have a wonderful life.


On to other things!  The weather has finally gotten chilly enough for December to feel like December.  I don't mind it being cold- I Do mind it being near zero w/ the wind chill. That's when pipes freeze, hoses don't thaw out for days and fingers/ toes get frostbitten. My toes on my right foot ( hahahaa- almost types 'hoof') got frostbite back when I was 19 and lived in Michigan.  Being a kid from Maryland, I had no idea about how cold Michigan winters would be... and sure enough, to this day, if those toes get to cold, they make my life miserable. It is amazing how many ways one can come up with to get barn chores done and keep sore toes warm!

This farm is down to just 7 horses now. It's a workable number to care for. Like a friend said the other day- she has noticed that the shovels at her farm are broken or defective somehow. They just don't hold the amount of dirt (or manure) like they did a few years ago. < winks>  There's a pasture for all to be turned out days and come in each evening. My ancients enjoy that as before, they were the ones who had to be out during the nights in winter. There was no way two very old Percherons would be out at night this winter... What with arthritis in all of their joints and being outside in the cold of central PA- well to me, that would be a negative to keeping them healthy n' happy.

No snow here yet, to account for. We had a little bitty snow but it was gone the next day. Nothing Big happens here til after the holidays, it seems. This year, I'll be happy if we just get small snows... those around 3-6" or so. Something easy to walk thru and deal with.

Hope this finds everyone healthy n' happy and looking forward to the upcoming holidays/

              Here's a Cat in a Box for your enjoyment!

Hmmmmm....

11/12/17

Hmmmm, I've been tossed back into the realm of horse selling recently it seems. Selling a horse is hard to me because I love said horse. It isn't like a car or a sofa... I don't "love" my cars nor sofas. My plan is to be Sure to find the perfect new owner for this horse as she's a class act and doesn't deserve being treated as a " well, she's old so she won't be so full of herself" kind of people.

Wish me luck in finding perfection for my horse- If I don't, here she'll remain. I would give her away to the right person if I couldn't find the right person to buy her.  ( have I mentioned how much I don't like horse selling ? sheeesh)

Lately I've been advertising a lot of my draft sized equipment and it has been selling slowly. There have been bits/ halters, etc. among others- and mostly All have gone way beneath market prices but I would rather someone else enjoy them than have them sit here.  So far I have sold all of my harness- show and at home stuff, the carts, and equipment that goes w/ it..... halters, bridles, and some bits too. I've still got two sets of team/ pair lines and blankets- but those I am not 'giving away' those.

I am keeping my English saddle so far, unless someone 'gets real' about it's worth. Everyone wants to buy cheap but even though I may never use said items again, they will remain w/ me for ever, if need be.

 I've been making room for horses here who don't play well w/ others, and those who are new here and those who are ancient and need to be in stalls at night. Omgosh- it's like a Chinese Fire Drill! Lately I am to the point where I have to put the horses needs first and humans wants secondly. I just want a peaceful farm once again. So- tomorrow, some changes are being made... stay tuned, I'll let you know how they went. ;)

 Also- I've decided to sell some chickens. Since the last murder session. they have been all living in stalls in the main barn.  I love my hens, and am so scared any more that something will attack / kill them, there are no chances taken any more. This really shortens their time outside in the sun. Even the hens's yard isn't safe enough as some critter got into their house and killed all those inside. So- perhaps if I cut back on the hens here, then they will be able to be outside and run fast enough IF something comes to kill them. At least I hope so- hmmmmmmmm, maybe skates ???  How about a scooter for them ?  Hmmmmmmm........

November has dragged wintery type weather along with her.  Cold but not TOO cold, damp and yep, we even had a bit of snow. If you can call it a snow.

It actually snowed and happily, it didn't last long. :)  My favorite kind of snow... I know more is coming, but please, not til Christmas ?

 Tomorrow, the plan is to get the short black pony hitched and to go for a drive... She won't care much for it, but I need it. 

Have a great evening, all !

Bringing Horses in at WoodFinn

10/30/17

Brrrrrrrrrrr, there's a cool wind a' blowing in Pa. today- leaves off the trees, and dust/ pieces of hay up the barn aisle. SO much more pleasant than yesterday's humidity n' warm temps. I swear, Mother Nature cannot make her mind up this year!

Halloween is tomorrow- and it's one of my favorite holidays! Wishing everyone a wonderful celebration. I love October also, as it's the month my husband & I got married some years ago also.

This year, the mix of horses is right to have them All outside during the day this winter. I thought about it, and with a little help from a friend, we got it sorted out. The trouble is, that this being just the second day all horses have been in different pastures, no one remembers quite where their stalls are. Now- our barn is Big as in hard to miss, no matter what speed an equine happens to be going... 

Glenn & I walked up to the barn this evening to bring all of the horses ( in different pastures from summer- remember?) inside for the night. They'd all been out grazing and enjoying the sunshine. I have some who are as honest as the day is long and always ( um, well Most of the time) manage to go to their correct stalls. Each stall is prepared for them with fresh water in the buckets, their dinnertime feed, and plenty of hay to give them something to do after the feed is gone.... and those honest horses know it. My two greys are two, as is my spotted draft mare. Those 3 always 'nail it' coming inside. No halters needed as I trust them so much. The others, not so much.  The one gelding that likes to start arguments w/ anyone who will argue back was led in first...

Glenn walked up to the pony field to let the little "Mr. Man" come in. He's usually been quite good about going right to his stall. Notttttt this time. He was planning on waiting for his bestie to come in too. So, instead Glenn let ''Shonee & the pony'' come in. Shonee trotted down the hill, in the barn and right into her stall. Yay, Shonee! The short Mr Man still wasn't going to come in. The other pony came trotting down the hill, and totally missed the barn. Whaaaaaaaa ?  I mean, some on, it's a big barn. She finally figured out where the entrance was and came trotting in but chose to 'shop' a little at the 5th cutting hay sitting there. Sheeesh- Finally she remembered it was dinner time and went into her stall. The Mr Man ? He was lost... Usually he'll either walk or trot in, but this time ? TROTTING! He trotted down the aisle and popped right in his stall- happy to find yet another time there was dinner there for him.

Time to let my drafters come in to their stalls, and a boarder too. Now- he'd been coming in nicely by himself but w/ friends in the field, he gets confused. ''Do I go now, or do I wait for those big horses to be first ??" He waited and Glenn called to him, and he stood half way up the hill, gazing into eternity, or what ever horses watch for. Suddenly it hit him!  Dinnertime !  Down the hill he came, thru the gate, Leaped over the old pole marking the side of the drive by about 2' and came roaring in at a big trot. He was going so fast I knew he was going to miss his stall so I yelled, " WHOA!" which just about stopped him. He saw the open doorway and walked into his stall.  Whattta gooooooooooood boy.

I love this group of horses here now. They are all super smart and try so hard to figure out what we want them to do, so it is a pleasure to be in the barn again.  As Glenn & I walked back to the house, we both were chuckling at the horses's antics this evening.
                       Have a great Samhain !!